First of all, if you weren't at the MC Hammer show last Thursday night in 'Uptown' Charlotte... you missed one of the best, worst, most unorganzied, silliest, stupidest, and most entertaining shows I've ever been to. Not only that, but after the show my car got towed away... AND I had everything I needed for work (which I had to leave for Concord @ 4:30 in the morning) was in that car!
What made the show so bad? Well...
1. The sound guy was HORRIBLE. The levels were possibly the worst i've ever heard for a famous musical artist.
2. While dancing during his first song in regular black work-out pants, Mr. Hammer (wearing the white head band) rips I gaping hole in his pants from his crotch to his right knee. It was pitiful. You could see his tighty whiteys (not that I was looking)....
3. Hammer was lip-singing to nearly every song. It was sad. It was obvious. He was too busy covering the hole in his pants to remember to hold the mic close and sing when his voice boomed over the monitors. Ashley Simpson would have been proud.
4. Hammer and posse would leave the stage after every song and disappear for 15 minutes before returning. It was almost as if they had to go off stage while the sound guy would download the next song off of the internet. It would take so long. Even Hammer would get tired of waiting for the next song to be cued and would come out on stage and dance to no music at all. The MC also said off stage after the first song (and the ripping accident, 'Anybody got any pants?' Unfortunately for him no one wanted to share theirs.
5. The songs would turn off at random during the middle of Hammer's musical set which would leave him and his Usher-Wannabe-friend, Pleasure, alone lip-singing to no music and Hammer's 4 dancing girls frozen in fear.
6. MC hammer covers his ripped pants with a white towel to hide his exposed skin.
7. Not one of the possibly 5,000 folks in the crowd was talking or cheering during the entire set (other than the last song). It was so bizarre.
8. Hammer has his pants taped up with black gaffer's tape during one of his 15 minute breaks between songs. It eventually becomes undone and we can see his bare leg and undies again.
9. One moment, when MC Hammer was actually trying to sing and get the crowd involved, his mic was turned down so low that only the first rows could hear him. I felt bad for him. It was a horrilbe audience participation show. People were just stunned by how awful the show was like deer in headlights.
10. The worst thing was that it was MC Hammer, 15-20 years after his 'prime'. Overweight. No Parachute Pants. BUT- He did manage to bring out the Panther's Cheerleaders to join him on the stage for a few numbers. He also played the classics, 'You're got to pray', '2 legit to quit', 'can't touch this' and others.
After the show I got a call from my friend, Dana Dixon, saying that she was at that moment watching my car get towed away. I didn't think I parked wrong because everyone else on the block parked the same way, but I found out later the entire block pretty much got towed. Fortunately, Dana was able to get the towing company's name and I 411'ed the number and was able to get a ride and pick my car up that night. Normally they don't let you. I had to have the stuff in my car (my computer and paperwork for the job we were shooting at the speedway early the next morning). If Dana hadn't seen it get towed away I would have been up the creek. Anyway, It was a great night and I still remained in good spirits the entire night, even the following day (after only two hours of sleep).
Oh... BTW- Hammer's new album comes out the 4th of July. It doesn't sound too bad. It's more gangsta rapp'ish, but good. Once he played 'U Can't Touch This' everything was good. The crowd finally got into it, the hands went up into the air, some people danced. It was fun.
It was great to see Andy, Dana, Gordon, Greg, Holly, Kelly, Stephanie, and others out at the show. Good times. Can't wait for Vanilla Ice next year.
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